Fowl Attack! Citizens Unreactive!

London: At least one man was viciously assaulted while on an innocuous trip to a local historical attraction. Residents are advised to be aware of the unpredictable nature of all wild and slightly domesticated animals. An interview with the wounded man follows.

Fake News: Sir, please describe the event.

Slow-witted father: Well, I saw the geese during our visit to the pioneer village, and they were honking in excitement when we approached them. The boy held back of course, showing wisdom beyond his years, but I went closer.

FN: Did it occur to you that they were hungry geese?

SWF: Yes, but I ignored that idea. They popped their heads through the fence, and I put out my hand in an attempt to pet one. That’s when it bit me.

FN: Geese don’t have teeth.

SWF:  Fine. It pinched me with it’s mouth. Happy?

FN: Why did you think it was a good idea to try and pet a goose?

SWF:….shut up, that’s why.

The interviewee stormed off after this. Worst interview ever.

Just in case you notice me exhibiting strange, gooselike tendencies, you now know why: I may have been attacked by a weregoose. Sometimes we teach our children by demonstrating first-hand stupidity and it’s consequences. He was even helpful enough to point out my goose wound to his mother.

Like a word Stew

No one theme today, just a goulash of things from the start of the week (after a long day with the lad, this is all you’re getting, gentle readers).

Vignette: Dad comes around to the bathroom to see what the lad is doing while sitting on the potty for a while. He finds the lad vigorously pulling his wang away from his body. Dad asks “what are you doing?” The lad replies “I’m trying to pull off my penis”. Dad calmly discourages this terrifying concept. Hopefully his future wife appreciates this.

Different topic: I’m thinking about publishing some serialized fiction to this blog, but I’m not sure if I want to cross the streams in that fashion. I try to keep things pg around here, so that would limit the use of foul language and fisticuffs. On the plus side, it might be validating to know I have a small band of people reading the work as it comes out.

I ‘m not really aware of why Ashley Tisdale is famous in the real world, or if she’s a vacuous member of Hollywood’s next-gen brats. I can only judge her by her terrific work as the voice of ‘Candace’ on ‘Phineas and Ferb’, and I think she does a whiz-bang job. Check ‘Phineas and Ferb’ out, you’ll like it.

Game Review: Crackdown 2/Puzzle Quest 2

It’s two reviews in one! Primarily because Crackdown 2 – French/English is nothing special. The original Crackdown was a surprise hit, because expectations were so very very low. It’s first wave of sales was driven almost exclusively by people who wanted the Halo demo that came with it. And when those Halo fans tried out the game that came with their demo, they were delighted to find a fun, jump around supercop game. There were flaws, sure, but it made it by on suprising fun. This time around, there’s no surprise, and a whole lot of expectation, so the weak points are very obvious. The story is so far from the foreground that it’s meaningless. The aiming system stinks, just stinks. And the tone is inconsistent. The idea is that the Agents are supercops who are better than everyone else and detached from humanity. Fine and dandy, it’s a morally grey game. But whenever I accidentally killed some civilians who were eager to leap in front of my car or gun, the big jerk boss voice would scold me, and I would lose a few points. In a game that was trying to give you a real sense of moral choices and consequences, this would make sense, but in this mess it just kept me from driving anywhere, and not using the rocket launcher as much as I wanted to. Crackdown 2 only gets a 6 out of 10. I played it, and finished it, but it wasn’t a satisfying experience, especially for the cost.

Contrast that with Puzzle Quest 2, a game that combines puzzles, and rpg elements like leveling and weapon customization. Win! I bought and played it on Xbox live for about $20.00, and the single player alone was well worth the money. It even held some fun for the wife, so it was a family success too.  A smaller, and cheaper game, it managed to outperform Crackdown 2 in every way except for jumping. There is no jumping in Puzzle Quest 2. I give it an 8 out of 10.