But it turns out, the song that I thought I was going to borrow the title of, sending the readers on a small scavenger hunt to discover an obscure but enjoyable song, doesn’t actually exist. Instead I will be blunt-go listen to some Morrissey. With the Smiths, or solo, you choice. I’m surprised how much he means to me. Here, try this on : Greatest Hits (Dlx Ltd Ed)
Back to my original subject. I am experiencing a significant amount of stress from trying to achieve both a career launch and being a full-time caregiver. I admire the men and women out there who appear to be able to accomplish both tasks, but beating myself up won’t make it happen. If beating myself up and wallowing in self-pity were success catalysts, then high school would have left me sitting on a giant pile of money watching over my vast empire. Time to be honest with myself and acknowledge that I am choosing to focus on caring for Max, and that is my career right now. If I can muster up a little extra from day-to-day, then that’s fantastic, but the quality of our time together is my only real baseline for measuring success.
But what about money, and my fondness for the comforts it brings? Well, we know we can make do with only one salary, and if I have to sacrifice a few luxuries to make it through, then that’s what I’ll do. I need to look at it as a contract position, that will last until Max heads off to school, which will be September 2012. There’s always a chance that something will change, and we’ll look at pre-school, but let’s take that one step at a time.
Unrelated: Futon mattresses are currently on the top of my “You can go straight to hell” list. Moving one is like trying to wrestle a drunk manatee up a set of stairs.