“What?? You, become less reliable in your blogging???” you cry with sarcastic surprise in your voice. Well that’s a terrible attitude you have there, partner. We’re heading up north to visit the in-laws in Thunder Bay for the next week, so I may or may not be able to manage my recently avowed schedule of 3 times a week. We shall see what we see.I hope to crank out an unspecified but impressive amount of handwritten fiction while I’m ‘away’ so wish me luck.
Fowl Attack! Citizens Unreactive!
London: At least one man was viciously assaulted while on an innocuous trip to a local historical attraction. Residents are advised to be aware of the unpredictable nature of all wild and slightly domesticated animals. An interview with the wounded man follows.
Fake News: Sir, please describe the event.
Slow-witted father: Well, I saw the geese during our visit to the pioneer village, and they were honking in excitement when we approached them. The boy held back of course, showing wisdom beyond his years, but I went closer.
FN: Did it occur to you that they were hungry geese?
SWF: Yes, but I ignored that idea. They popped their heads through the fence, and I put out my hand in an attempt to pet one. That’s when it bit me.
FN: Geese don’t have teeth.
SWF: Fine. It pinched me with it’s mouth. Happy?
FN: Why did you think it was a good idea to try and pet a goose?
SWF:….shut up, that’s why.
The interviewee stormed off after this. Worst interview ever.
Just in case you notice me exhibiting strange, gooselike tendencies, you now know why: I may have been attacked by a weregoose. Sometimes we teach our children by demonstrating first-hand stupidity and it’s consequences. He was even helpful enough to point out my goose wound to his mother.
Like a word Stew
No one theme today, just a goulash of things from the start of the week (after a long day with the lad, this is all you’re getting, gentle readers).
Vignette: Dad comes around to the bathroom to see what the lad is doing while sitting on the potty for a while. He finds the lad vigorously pulling his wang away from his body. Dad asks “what are you doing?” The lad replies “I’m trying to pull off my penis”. Dad calmly discourages this terrifying concept. Hopefully his future wife appreciates this.
Different topic: I’m thinking about publishing some serialized fiction to this blog, but I’m not sure if I want to cross the streams in that fashion. I try to keep things pg around here, so that would limit the use of foul language and fisticuffs. On the plus side, it might be validating to know I have a small band of people reading the work as it comes out.
I ‘m not really aware of why Ashley Tisdale is famous in the real world, or if she’s a vacuous member of Hollywood’s next-gen brats. I can only judge her by her terrific work as the voice of ‘Candace’ on ‘Phineas and Ferb’, and I think she does a whiz-bang job. Check ‘Phineas and Ferb’ out, you’ll like it.
Chris Loblaw, Author 