Grumpy old Man Vacuums, curses at Xbox 360

Rage! Rage! Stupid Xbox can’t read the stupid disc of the game I want to keep playing! Oh, wretched consequence of enabling my boy to switch the dvds by himself (and also my own normal slovenly disc care). Oh well, less game for me means more blog for you.

All of humanity functions on two basic assumptions:

1)I vacuumed last time

2)It’s someone else’s turn to vacuum.

Even solitary bachelors can cling to the illogical belief that the floor will be vacuumed by someone else. Maybe vacuum fairies. And so the floor gathers a building pile of detritus and filth until someone finally loses their mind with dirt rage and cleans in a frenzy. I learned this pattern of delay and disgruntled cleaning from my friend and old roommate Matt, so I know who to thank when I am muttering and vacuuming up the kitchen right before bed. Is most of the mess mine, since I do all of the cooking and I am a slob when doing so? Yes. I am aware of the mess being my unacknowledged second child, but I still don’t like cleaning it.

Well, at least the floor is clean(er) and the Xbox is behaving more. Also, my unstoppable addiction to cashews has led to a week-long binge. We bought over a kilo of the delicious salty nuts last Saturday, and it is almost gone. For those keeping track of my dietary intake, that means I have consumed about 9 days worth of dietary fat in 5 days, and that’s assuming the rest of my diet has been fat-free. Damn your large sizes, Costco! You eliminated scarcity from the cashew consumption equation, and now I’m over-salted and greasy. Well, more so than usual.

Published by Chris

I'm an author, freelance writer, dad, and civic busybody living in London, Ontario

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