Good enough-let’s roll!

Holidays are a strange time for me.  I have  a very weird and difficult relationship with my relatives and progress has been slow in making things any better. Of course, when I was a young dumb man with no  real concerns,  this didn’t matter to me. I thought that they could take care of themselves, I would live my life, and everyone would be just fine. The story totally changes when Max makes his entrance.

There’s a need for normalcy that plays into my renewed attempts at doing traditional family things, so that he doesn’t feel out-of-place or odd when his friends and playmates talk about their families. I want Max to have at least a basic sense of having a complete circle of family members who would care for and help him. And so, I put effort into trying to build a new and improved version of my family relations. I don’t have  the best toolkit to do so,  but you gotta work with what you have.

Tonight was our Thanksgiving dinner, and it went well. My brother and his family weren’t a part of this one, and their exclusion was equal parts accident and venue restrictions. We just don’t have seating to host us, plus my mother and aunt, plus my sister-in-law PLUS my brother and his wife and two kids. I do feel bad that they weren’t a part of things, but I’m not sure if I could have  managed the entire group with full attendance. In the grand scheme of things, I hope they can understand and let it slide.

On the plus side, I made a good dinner. Doing all of the cooking (aside from the dishes brought by our lovely guests) helped me handle the whole situation. It kept me busy, involved but slightly removed, and in control of something.  Max’s harmonica concert at the end of the evening was a real crowd pleaser. And, I got to give my mother my stern dadface when she forgot to use the magic word. Ah, the sweet power. I have to remember as well that I really enjoy my aunt’s company, and I should put extra effort into spending more time with her.

And now, with fatigue settling in, Max’s bedtime underway,  and a  pot of turkey soup coming into existence upstairs, I can sit back and relax.

 

Stop weirding me out, little dude

I came upstairs last night to find Max leading his mother on a quest for items he needed to take care of his ‘baby’, a small teddy bear from his room. This baffled me. He has shown some caregiver behaviors before, like brushing the teeth of a few of his stuffed animals during  teeth-brushing time, but the focus, determination and complexity of his taking care of baby baffled me.

It turns out that one of his friends is quite fond of her baby doll, and he saw her playing mommy at her birthday party.  I would have never bet on Max deciding to devote over an hour to dressing, feeding, and tucking in his baby. I don’t even like pretending to take care of a baby right now, so it’s a little hard for me to be an enthusiastic participant in the baby game. Nonetheless, I helped him get his old baby chair from the basement and set it up for his furry little child.

As an added bonus, the baby chair has a motor in it to generate a gentle vibrating sensation to soothe a grumpy child. I had forgotten all about that motor, and I spent a good half hour trying to identify the quiet buzzing noise that was lurking in the living room. Oh that boy.

 

I am not a Sexy Scientist

But if I wanted to pretend to be one, this is the season. Halloween is on its way. When you’re a kid, the fun of Halloween is in pretending to be someone else (and to get giant sacks of candy). As adults, the festivities transition into a party-based celebration. But my theory is that puberty gives guys a different experience: for them, Halloween becomes sexy.

Here’s the logic behind this theory. Biology drives males to mate with as many different females as possible, to maximize the likelihood of successful conception. Deep in the back of every dude’s animal brain, there’s a promiscuous itch, and most of them succeed in ignoring that itch. They form healthy relationships with their partners and stay faithful to them. But, that impulse is still rolling around in there. Luckily, it’s pretty easy to fool the animal brain with a little misdirection, and that’s where the costumes  come in to play. By throwing on a suggestive dress and a wig, your life partner transforms into someone different, a new conquest for your primal instincts. So, the fortunate fellow gets to remain faithful and true to his one and only, while indulging the tiny monkey in his head, howling and beating his chest in victory. The promise of Halloween is the illusion of promiscuity.

The costuming effect also allows for the partners to change their respective sexual roles as well. Normally, men play the role of seducer, carefully working to entice their partner into a state of ready passion. Men are easy to arouse,  so there isn’t a lot of effort needed to talk a guy into sex.  But if you look past the quick physical response, there’s also a need to be seduced themselves. The sexy outfit can be a part of the role of the pursuer, the seductress who will lure her target into her sensual embrace with her feminine wiles. It works for costumes, or for lingerie. By taking the time and effort to dress up in a uniform of seduction, she makes it loud and clear that she wants him to feel desired and important. She isn’t assuming that he’s always raring to go (even though the odds are good that he will be, at least physically).

Of course, there is the obvious visual stimulation of sexy clothing, and men are so very visual when it comes to arousal. And,  I  may spend far too much time over-analyzing everything, so maybe the visual appeal is the only part that matters to most guys. But don’t we all feel a little bit more special when someone works for our attention?