In this case, “it” refers to opinions, though it’s up to you to decide if that’s all I’m full of. There isn’t really any topic of conversation that floats by me that I don’t have some opinion on. But over the course of the last few weeks, I think I’ve accumulated a few too many idle opinions. I’ve been progressively more irritable and combative, ready and willing to leap in and explain why people are wrong.
The trick here is that I’m leaping in to offer my opinions in places and conversations that didn’t involve me in the first place. My contrarian impulses went into overdrive and I wanted to wade in to every current event. Luckily, I’ve been sitting on most of my argumentativeness and I think the storm is passing.
Now that I’m more levelheaded, I’m digging around in the emotion pile and trying to sort out what triggered all of this. Surprisingly, there’s an element of attention-seeking. I wanted people to pay attention to me, I wanted them to notice that I was here, even if the attention I was receiving was negative.
That hunger for attention may have been powered by my exile from creativityland. When I write, I have the complete attention of my hypothetical future audience, and I have control of all of the conversations within the narrative itself. In the real world conversations move very quickly and old fogeys like me get cut off and interrupted before they get to the climax of their rambling and possibly irrelevant story.
So, long story short, I need to get some writing done to empty out the braintubes.
Chris Loblaw, Author 