This was the perfect working holiday for me today. My wonderful wife took the little dude over to his friend’s house for a play date and a fun lunch at McDonalds. I know, we can all tut tut about the nutritional value of the food there, and that is a valid concern, but he eats so little of it right now that it’s a non-issue. He’s too excited to go play in the playland area to eat any real amount. So he had a great fun time. And, while they were out, I finally got a good chunk of editing done on my novel.
I had been stalling, beating myself up, and generally being a sad sack for the last few days. I was trying to kick myself in the butt to get things done, but I don’t handle that very well. Instead of getting more motivated, I get frustrated at what I can’t achieve and I then descend into a mopey pit of malaise. Last night, I gave up on pulling the stubborn mule that is my mind. The wife gave me the night off to relax and feel better, and I did just that. When this morning came around, I was ready to focus and get some work done. That’s a second ‘thank you’ I owe my wife.
A big part of my problem is that I look at other professional writers and I compare what I accomplish day-to-day with what they do. What I didn’t understand until today is that, even though I now see myself as a professional writer, I still have the hangups and challenges I had before seeing myself as a writer. I won’t magically shed my existing issues just because I’m following my dreams. That is the important part to keep in mind, though: I am living my dream. I get to write, without any real worry about money. And I get to spend my days with my little dude as he grows and learns and becomes more amazing with each day that passes.