For a man bemoaning about his lack of consistency, I put a shockingly small amount of effort into fixing the situation. Oh well, on to the news.
This weekend, my wife has taken our two-year old Max on a plane ride to see Grandma and Grandpa in Thunder Bay. This has left me here to exist in some kind of unfettered bachelor life for 4 days. The first problem? I have no idea how to be a solitary individual anymore. Just like a prison inmate, I’ve become institutionalized and I don’t know how to behave in the real world.
Bits are coming back to me, as well as a realization that I’ve always accomplished very little when left entirely to my own devices. So, the lists have come out and the push is on. To Productivity! (with a side order of fun).
There is such an amazing sense of comfort and confidence that I get from spending my days with my little guy. Even on his rare grumpy days, he is an ever-present source of validation and love. I know exactly who I am and what I have to do: I am dad. So it’s a little hard to remember who I am when I don’t have to be dad.
There have been two moments of profound sadness so far. First, all of the moving around and cleaning that I’m doing reminds me of the frenzied cleaning I did when we bought the house. I did that cleaning all alone, and it was a very stressful and emotionally draining time (as it was for Kristen as well). The second one was when I went to bed last night, all by myself in a big empty room. I have to admit that I really like all three of us sleeping in the same room, and I miss both of them terribly. I actually stood at the foot of the bed and pouted.
So, now off to shampoo the carpets, clean and arrange the living room and play area, edit my book, clean out the disaster zone in the car, have some fun, eat lunch and a thousand other things before Monday.