Who loves lists? I know I do, albeit unorganized and hazy lists that are unrecorded and change depending on my whims. The specific list I’m building up now is a list of topics that I will never care about, no matter how earnest or excited the speaker is. These topics are, in no particular order:
1. Figs/miniatures (ridiculously expensive tiny metal or plastic figurines to be used in overly complicated and tedious strategy games. Warhammer 40K as an example). I understand that your tiny men are super special and powerful in your mind, but please stop telling me about them.
2. MMOs, specifically World Of Warcraft. I know the game is a monument to repetition and is the most complex chat room you could ever enter, but there is no place on earth that slang from the game will sound cool, you giant sad nerd.
3. Sex Fetishes. It brings me a small amount of sadness to be made aware of the insanely detailed and time-consuming preparatory work you need to achieve the level of arousal that I can get by doing nothing at all. But needing pre-work and instruction manuals in the bedroom isn’t something to brag about, so hush up. And stop saying ‘Vanilla’ as if I should be embarrassed that I don’t need wax/fire/3 ring circus to get my rocks off.
Chris Loblaw, Author 