When I was a brand new parent, I lived in a state of constant alarm. Since I wasn’t able to accurately assess the danger of any given baby-related situation, I assumed every one might be disastrous, and so I spent several months perched in a state of cat-like readiness and fear. With time and experience, I learned to relax, climb out of my panic room, and not worry so much.Parenting is one of the life events that suddenly makes you very aware of how tenuous and unpredictable our existence really is, and it takes time to regain the optimism and stop actively worrying.

This cycle of becoming very afraid, and then reevaluating and adapting, repeats throughout your life. We spend most of our lives trying to stike a good balance between cautious preparation and exhuberant activity. When we’re too afraid, we start making fear-based decisions, and that only creates long-term misery in exchange for the illusion of temporary comfort. When we lose all of our fear and respect for the fragility and complexity of human life, we make dumb and selfish decisions that hurt everyone except the very, very lucky.

The sweet spot that we should all aim for is this: aware of potential hazards and the steps we can take to avoid them, but hopeful and optimistic that you’ll be able to survive and thrive despite the challenges that come your way.  Not that this is necessarily easy, mind you. There is always going to be an unpleasant surprise lurking around the corner that will pop up and remind you of your own mortality. No matter how fantastic things are going, and how whizz bang you are, this ride will come to an end, and no one will ask you if it’s okay to stop. But, knowing the context and the limitations that you face, it’s your obligation to pile up your talents and experience, and do the best that you can.  Neil Gaiman said it well: “You get what anybody gets – you get a lifetime.” Or to trot out another corny cliché that irritatingly turned out to be true, make hay while the sun shines.

When I wander into using terms and concepts that are more complex and obscure that your run-of-the-mill facts, I sometimes wonder if I should explain them more often.  Then again, I don’t want to come off as a lecturing pedant. And don’t think that I walk around with terms like ‘pedant’ rolling freely without effort out of my brain: I have a vague idea of what it means, and then I go and google it, just like everyone else. For the record, pedant means “a person who is excessively concerned with formalism and precision, or who makes a show of his or her learning.”

But all of that is beside the point. I want to talk about a psychological concept that tries to give a partial answer to the question ‘humanity, why you so crazy?’: Cognitive Dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable mental state where you are trying to believe in two conflicting ideas at the same time. They both can’t be right, but somehow you’re supporting both of them. Smoking is a good example. Every smoker knows that smoking is terrible for them, and  yet they continue to smoke, even though they believe that they are a smart person who makes good choices.

So, faced with the conflict between the two ideas, our clever and adaptive mind creates a scenario where those two ideas can live in a simulation of harmony. We rationalize our behaviour, as being right anyway. We downplay or ignore the negative consequences.  These adaptive capabilities are a big part of how we learn and survive in a chaotic world that doesn’t follow any strict logic, but it also allows very bad behaviours to get rooted into our psyche and stay there.

Consider this for a moment: we are a society of law and we expect everyone to follow the rules, but the News Of the World scandal reminded all of us that some people will see no punishment at all for disobeying those rules that are meant to apply to everyone equally. This creates cognitive dissonance. Some might wonder “Why should I follow the rules and accept their place in life when the wealthy use their fortunes to ignore their obligation to society? Why not take it into my own hands to rebel against the law and acquire some wealth of your own?”

I don’t give anyone absolution for the stupid and evil choices they make, in this case the choice to riot and loot. The responsibility for the action always rests on the shoulders of the individual. But it’s vital to look at the environment that encouraged that decision-making process, and the conditions that created it. When we accept a systemic disrespect for the rule of law from our leaders, we weaken the structures that allow our complex society to thrive.

(Note to the defenders of the English language: if I’ve used ‘irony’ in an incorrect way, I don’t want to hear about it. I am not in the mood)

By blogging and being all in and about social media, the entrepreneurial writer builds his brand, his platform, and the increased visibility and connectivity with the audience will pay off in the future (or so I’m told). Knowing that it helps the future (supposedly) I feel compelled to get here and blog it up, especially on a day where I am keenly aware of the need for ‘money’ to ‘ keep my chubby butt fed’.

And, as always, when I’m feeling the money pinch, my spirits plummet and my previous stockpile of sage observation/witty observations vanish into the ether. So, I need to keep talking to my faithful audience to keep our relationship strong and healthy, but I’m only able to talk about money woes and moping. Hardly seems fair to you, gentle reader.  Well, you’re already here, so settle down and I’ll try to scrape together something interesting.

I did venture out of the house to attend a general meeting of Emerging Leaders, a group dedicated to gathering potential leaders and teaching leaderly things to them (as well as getting them to network and maybe find them some jobs). Once again, this was a big social occasion with very few familiar faces, and I navigated it with relative ease. I’m on the cusp of being able to totally abandon the ‘socially awkward’ descriptor that I append to my character bio.  That counts as a victory.

I also got to hang out a little bit with my new tall friend Scott. Scott is about an inch taller than me, just tall enough that I’m not the biggest guy around at 6′ 2″, but not so much taller than me that I’m frightened. For some reason, there’s something comforting about lurking around in his shadow. I don’t get a lot of shadow-lurking opportunity.

In the subject of ethics: I don’t think I could ever lie as a part of an election campaign. My dad oath wouldn’t let me do it. Sure, you can be viciously incisive to your opponent, and you can (and should) mercilessly dismantle their policies, but trying to lie your way into power is absolutely shameful. There’s a local political enthusiast who volunteers for a candidate as their social media coordinator and when I read his twitter posts and facebook posts, I feel an incredible rage. He’s a new dad. He has the responsibility to teach his child that winning through dishonesty doesn’t count. By accepting and embracing these sleazy tactics, he’s waiving a portion of his parental moral authority, and his kid deserves better. I think it’s best that I never meet this man in person, because I won’t be able to keep my yap shut.