Me and the camel are now friends

We packed up the family car and drove into the wilds of Corn country, to visit a place called Greenview Aviaries and Zoo. Like most cynical parents, I had a few assumptions about the place before I even laid eyes on it. I was sure it was going to be a little run-down, very expensive, and full of poorly maintained and sad animals. Boy, was I wrong.

First, it was clean. No litter, no broken playground equipment. In addition to the zoo (more on that in a bit) there was a large picnic and playground area, and they were not fooling around when they set up the playground. There were 3 full-size trampolines. Yes you heard me, a plethora of trampolines.And the big sandbox was full of  at least 15 toy dump trucks and dozens of plastic shovels. it was almost as if the proprietors of this establishment actually knew what kids liked to play with.

It also impressed me that the picnic area was interlaced with the playground, so the kids could keep running around like lunatics while the adults finished eating their lunches. The picnic and playground area was also a sort of libertarian dreamland: not a staff member in sight. The trampolines had signs beside them pointing out the rules, which were routinely ignored. All children were left in the responsibility of their parents or caregivers. I don’t know if this is in any way an accurate representation of a Libertarian’s dream, but I do know that there were a series of minor injuries taking place during our visit. There was a girl around the age of 9 or 10 who suddenly discovered on the zip line that her grip strength wasn’t quite as good as she had guessed. Her mom ran over to the prostrate girl, and after a moment, she got up and walked it off. All in all, most injuries were walked or cried off with no permanent damage, and we escaped with no wounds (other than bug bites).

But on to the animals! I had assumed that the zoo would be an anemic collection of a few slightly exotic animals, a pack of donkeys and maybe a peacock or two. Surprisingly, this zoo in the middle of corn fields and wind turbines is full of exotic creatures. It blew my mind that they had 4 lions, a tiger, 2 cougars, a pack of alpacas, a black bear, a horde of different monkeys, 2 surly buffalos, and a camel. My fondness for an animal is based around its similarity to a dog, and I didn’t think that a camel would meet that criteria, what with all the stubbornness and spitting. But this fellow was agreeable and approachable. I gave him a pet on the nose, and  when he didn’t immediately attack me, I started to give him a hearty scratch behind the ear. And after a moment or two, I swear that one of his back legs started to kick reflexively, just like a giant dog when you find their itchy sweet spot. You cannot believe how much I enjoyed this. I had hoped to give the buffalo a pet too, but he was disinclined to allow such nonsense, and when a buffalo slams his massive head against the fence between you and him, you back off.

 

Quickly, engage a moderate level of caution!

When I was a brand new parent, I lived in a state of constant alarm. Since I wasn’t able to accurately assess the danger of any given baby-related situation, I assumed every one might be disastrous, and so I spent several months perched in a state of cat-like readiness and fear. With time and experience, I learned to relax, climb out of my panic room, and not worry so much.Parenting is one of the life events that suddenly makes you very aware of how tenuous and unpredictable our existence really is, and it takes time to regain the optimism and stop actively worrying.

This cycle of becoming very afraid, and then reevaluating and adapting, repeats throughout your life. We spend most of our lives trying to stike a good balance between cautious preparation and exhuberant activity. When we’re too afraid, we start making fear-based decisions, and that only creates long-term misery in exchange for the illusion of temporary comfort. When we lose all of our fear and respect for the fragility and complexity of human life, we make dumb and selfish decisions that hurt everyone except the very, very lucky.

The sweet spot that we should all aim for is this: aware of potential hazards and the steps we can take to avoid them, but hopeful and optimistic that you’ll be able to survive and thrive despite the challenges that come your way.  Not that this is necessarily easy, mind you. There is always going to be an unpleasant surprise lurking around the corner that will pop up and remind you of your own mortality. No matter how fantastic things are going, and how whizz bang you are, this ride will come to an end, and no one will ask you if it’s okay to stop. But, knowing the context and the limitations that you face, it’s your obligation to pile up your talents and experience, and do the best that you can.  Neil Gaiman said it well: “You get what anybody gets – you get a lifetime.” Or to trot out another corny cliché that irritatingly turned out to be true, make hay while the sun shines.

Ideas are Fun!

When I wander into using terms and concepts that are more complex and obscure that your run-of-the-mill facts, I sometimes wonder if I should explain them more often.  Then again, I don’t want to come off as a lecturing pedant. And don’t think that I walk around with terms like ‘pedant’ rolling freely without effort out of my brain: I have a vague idea of what it means, and then I go and google it, just like everyone else. For the record, pedant means “a person who is excessively concerned with formalism and precision, or who makes a show of his or her learning.”

But all of that is beside the point. I want to talk about a psychological concept that tries to give a partial answer to the question ‘humanity, why you so crazy?’: Cognitive Dissonance.

Cognitive dissonance is the uncomfortable mental state where you are trying to believe in two conflicting ideas at the same time. They both can’t be right, but somehow you’re supporting both of them. Smoking is a good example. Every smoker knows that smoking is terrible for them, and  yet they continue to smoke, even though they believe that they are a smart person who makes good choices.

So, faced with the conflict between the two ideas, our clever and adaptive mind creates a scenario where those two ideas can live in a simulation of harmony. We rationalize our behaviour, as being right anyway. We downplay or ignore the negative consequences.  These adaptive capabilities are a big part of how we learn and survive in a chaotic world that doesn’t follow any strict logic, but it also allows very bad behaviours to get rooted into our psyche and stay there.

Consider this for a moment: we are a society of law and we expect everyone to follow the rules, but the News Of the World scandal reminded all of us that some people will see no punishment at all for disobeying those rules that are meant to apply to everyone equally. This creates cognitive dissonance. Some might wonder “Why should I follow the rules and accept their place in life when the wealthy use their fortunes to ignore their obligation to society? Why not take it into my own hands to rebel against the law and acquire some wealth of your own?”

I don’t give anyone absolution for the stupid and evil choices they make, in this case the choice to riot and loot. The responsibility for the action always rests on the shoulders of the individual. But it’s vital to look at the environment that encouraged that decision-making process, and the conditions that created it. When we accept a systemic disrespect for the rule of law from our leaders, we weaken the structures that allow our complex society to thrive.