Calling it early-Christmas is a success!

Looking at the tree and the presents starting to accumulate below the branches, I started to ruminate about my own gifts that might show up under there in the next 24 hours. I’m usually pretty bad with coming up with gift suggestions. When pressed for an answer to “what would you like for Christmas?” I engage in an overly complex intellectual process of valuation analysis as I try to find out what my own perfect gift would be.  I should just relax and give my gut answer.

But really, I’ve already received the best gifts, the presents that I want with all my heart. I have a family that has been healthy and happy for the entire year.  I’m able to watch my little dude rough-housing and giggling with his grandpa, an experience that I never had as a child. I’m able to stay at home and be with my wonderful boy, as well as pursuing my ambitions and dreams, and that is all thanks to the hard work and sacrifice from my amazing wife. Who could ever ask for more than the chance to chase your dreams? I mean, I wouldn’t turn down a new big TV or a fancy trip to Ottawa, but it would all be icing on the cake.

And, I also have the gift of you, my resilient and delightful readers. Even when you disagree with me, you still come back to read the next burst of nonsensical text I churn out. Your attention gives me encouragement, both as moral support, and as a motivational prod, and I love you all for both of those functions.

All in all, I’m making out like a bandit, and I couldn’t be happier. Merry Christmas, happy holidays, and be excellent to each other.

 

It’s a Picasso to me, pal

I read an article recently where the author made the argument that constant praise had a detrimental effect on a child’s capacity to face adversity. Basically, if you’re always being told that you’re awesome (even when you suck), a real challenge will expose your lack of skill and send you running in the other direction. Then again, being told that you suck at continual intervals would have the same chilling effect, so it’s about realistic re-enforcement.

But from the outside perspective of the childless observer, it can really look like us parents are heaping on unnecessary praise. We can get thrilled and excited over even the most meager of scratchwork art or minor cleaning effort. Let me explain why we get so excited. When you have been along for the long and grueling journey from infancy to now, any new skill or ability, no matter how trivial, is a sign that you’re passing the parenthood test. Your kid is getting better at being a human, and they’re able to do something that is totally brand new to them. So the first time they draw a vaguely human shape with the facial features in some kind of proximity to each other, well, that’s the most beautiful picture you’ve ever seen. This week, my little dude read 2 words off of the television screen, with no picture clue to guide him, and I lost my mind. Reading! THAT IS THE REAL DEAL, PEOPLE. We have progress!

And I am in no way advocating a persistent level of “way to go, tiger”. As the task becomes routine and easily achievable, I dial back the praise, as we make the transition from extraordinary to ordinary. But when he does something that I’ve never seen him do before, I am genuinely ecstatic, and my cheering is authentic. On rare occasions, the thrill is more of a terror, like this evening when Max was on the cusp of inserting a key into the electrical socket. Honestly, I thought we had made it past the age where that kind of dangerous shenannigan was possible, but now I realize that with great mental capacity, comes wildly dangerous ideas. As I write this, I am dredging up a memory from my own childhood, of being drawn to the wall socket and wanting to do the exact same thing. I must not have, or else I would have an electrocution story (unless the shock wiped my memory clean). I do remember successfully pouring water on a lit, incandescent lightbulb, and being puzzled at the result. Man, kids can be dumb.

I like lists too!

The approaching end of the year triggers an avalanche of year-end, best-of lists, and I don’t think that’s a bad thing. We organize our lives into arbitrary chunks of measured time, and when one chunk finishes and the next one starts up, a little bookkeeping gives you a better idea of the kind of year you went through. Did you see a lot of movies? Did your musical tastes focus exclusively on weepy teenpop? If so, what’s wrong with you?

For my own amusement, I’m going to do my own music list for this year, with a little explanation of each one. I do not in any way guarantee that the albums/songs listed were released during the 2011 calendar year, only that all of this music accompanied me on my stumble through this year. Also, the list is in no particular order, so look elsewhere to determine ultimate musical dominance.

1. “High Violet” by the National. I’ve written about this album before, but it continues to have a complex emotional narrative for me. And the strange imagery and word usage pushes my creative brain into interesting directions.

2. “Year of the Black Rainbow” by Coheed and Cambria. Lord help me. I shouldn’t listen to any measurable amount of this band’s material, because of the terrible lyrics. I’m a word guy. I am the enemy of awful plots and awkward rhyming. But somehow, the music gets its hooks into me and I forgive the absurd sci-fi back story (which included a talking 10 speed bicycle at some point, and people infected with the MONSTARR virus. I’m serious). And, to the lyricists credit, there are a few rare instances where his words creep out of nonsenseland and make it into some mildly compelling shape.

3.”Hurricane J” by The Hold Steady. I like the entire “Heaven is Whenever” album, but I’ll focus on this track as the best-in-show. It’s about a guy realizing his girl can be much more than her current life will allow her to be, and he’s a part of that problem. To give her the chance to grow and thrive, he has to end the relationship. Here’s the lyric that gets me sniffly:

“Jessie, let’s go for a ride
I know a place that we could stop and kiss for a while
I know a place that makes you smile
I know you’re gonna say what I know you’re gonna say
I know you’ll look at the ground, I know you’ll probably cry
You’re a beautiful girl and you’re a pretty good waitress
but Jessie, I don’t think I’m the guy”

4. “Grey Britain” by Gallows. Holy crap. If you’ve only been exposed to broken heart pop-punk, take a lick of this and find out what real punk tastes like. So angry, and so socially conscious. They’re not calling for violence or overthrow, they’re warning that violence is on it’s way.”There ain’t no scapegoats left to blame.We brought this on ourselves, and we could have been the change.”

5. “Depression Suite” by The Tragically Hip. I rediscovered this song just a few weeks ago, and digging through the lyrics led me to a couple of very moving books and a thoroughly enriching experience. About camaraderie through hardship, making your own opportunities, and seeing it all through. Sure, you could bail on your current situation and exile yourself to the oilsands, but “don’t you wanna see how it ends? When the door is just starting to open?” That line made me think about life and that, despite the adversity or the chance that I won’t succeed, I still want to go on the ride and see how it all plays out.

6. “Sainthood” by Tegan and Sara. I feel such an emotional resonance to their songs, and they are both incredibly smoochable. Yes I know they are lesbians, and no I would not try to smooch them at the same time. I’ve said too much.

7. “Watch The Throne” by Jay-Z and Kanye West. Combining the two guys onto one record took the quality level up to almost 100%.